Some years ago I became the legal guardian of an elderly woman who was showing early signs of dementia. We had known each other for some time, liked each other, and she had no family, so it made sense. And as time passed and the dementia increased, I helped juggle visiting nurses, health aides, and people to shop and clean for her.
But I did it from a distance. I had moved to Boston in order to work with the Daughters of St. Paul at Pauline Books and Media. I was thrilled to become part of the sisters’ media apostolate and to put my skills to good use—working for Jesus. It was a dream come true. I wanted to stay there forever.
Still, I had this obligation, this responsibility. And as time passed, it became clear to me that my elderly friend needed more—more support, more help, more presence. I struggled with it, struggled with God; surely he wanted me to stay where I was! But it became increasingly clear to me that this responsibility I’d taken on was bigger, more pressing, than my personal preferences and desires.
I was thinking about that situation when I read today’s lessons. They are truly about being sent out into the world, sent somewhere one might prefer not to go, because it is the right thing to do.
In the wake of Judas’ suicide and Jesus’ resurrection, a replacement for the former apostle had to be found in order to accomplish the Great Commission. One wonders how the “brothers” Paul talks about were feeling as Peter stood up and announced the need to fulfill the Scripture by appointing someone to take Judas’ place. These were people who had accompanied Jesus throughout his ministry, who knew him well: were they eager to be chosen? Or did they think about the magnitude of the task ahead and hope they wouldn’t be selected?
Two men were put forward for the task: the thrice-named “Judas called Barsabbas who was also known as Justus” and Matthias. The group prayed to be shown the way and eventually were led to select the latter. We’re not told how Matthias felt about this honor. Surely it was a blessing to be chosen as one of the Twelve… but, given the job ahead and the world in which they lived, it was a blessing that came at a cost. Probably not the life Matthias had imagined for himself moving forward.
In the Gospel reading, Jesus reminds us as he prays that we are not of this world, that we are here on a journey that has an ultimate destination. We may all be aware of keeping our eyes fixed on heaven, but Jesus is also reminding us we’re not there yet. The journey is still in progress. “As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world.” We still have places to go, commissions to fulfill.
In fact, we’re often asked to go places and do things we don’t want to do. But if we make our choices prayerfully, as did the disciples, we can be confident we’re taking the road God is asking us to take.
And sometimes closed doors aren’t… closed doors. As it turned out, I was able to fulfill my obligations to my elderly ward—even unto her death—and continue my work with the Daughters of St. Paul. We all prayed about the situation, and we were shown a way.
Going somewhere different, starting something new can be challenging and even fear-inspiring. But we’re never doing it alone. And that is—thank God—everything.
Jeannette de Beauvoir is a writer and editor with the digital department of Pauline Books & Media, working on projects as disparate as newsletters, book clubs, ebooks, and retreats that support the apostolate of the Daughters of St. Paul at http://www.pauline.org.
Feature Image Credit: Nel_Botha-NZ, https://pixabay.com/photos/open-road-future-ahead-wide-4488129/
Tami Urcia grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. She loves tackling home improvement projects, finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby and finding unique ways to love. She works at her parish, is a guest blogger on 
Perpetua Phelps is a high school student residing in West Michigan and is the second of four children. Apart from homeschooling, Perpetua enjoys volunteering at her church, attending retreats, studying Latin and French, and reading classics such as Beowulf, The Lord of the Rings, C.S. Lewis’ Space Trilogy, and Mark Twain’s Joan of Arc. She also spends much time writing novels, essays, and poetry for fun and competition. A passionate Tolkien fan, Perpetua is a founding member of a Tolkien podcast.
Dakota currently lives in Denver, CO and teaches English Language Development and Spanish to high schoolers. She is married to the love of her life, Ralph. In her spare time, she reads, goes to breweries, and watches baseball. Dakota’s favorite saints are St. John Paul II (how could it not be?) and St. José Luis Sánchez del Río. She is passionate about her faith and considers herself blessed at any opportunity to share that faith with others. Check out more of her writing at 
Susan Ciancio has a BA in psychology and a BA in sociology from the University of Notre Dame, with an MA in liberal studies from Indiana University. For the past 17 years, she has worked as a professional editor and writer, editing both fiction and nonfiction books, magazine articles, blogs, educational lessons, professional materials and website content. Eleven of those years have been in the pro-life sector. Currently Susan freelances and writes weekly for HLI, edits for American Life League, and is the editor of Celebrate Life Magazine. She also serves as executive editor for the Culture of Life Studies Program-an educational nonprofit program for K-12 students.
Kathryn Mulderink, MA, is married to Robert, Station Manager for Holy Family Radio. Together they have seven children (including newly ordained Father Rob and seminarian Luke ;-), and two grandchildren. She is a Secular Discalced Carmelite and has published five books and many articles. Over the last 25 years, she has worked as a teacher, headmistress, catechist, Pastoral Associate, and DRE. Currently, she serves the Church as a writer and voice talent for Catholic Radio, by publishing and speaking, and by collaborating with the diocesan Office of Catechesis, various parishes, and other ministries to lead others to encounter Christ and engage their faith. Her website is 
Tommy Shultz is the Founder/Director of Rodzinka Ministry and the Director of Faith Formation for the North Allegan Catholic Collaborative. In these roles, he is committed to bringing all those he meets into a deeper relationship with Christ. Tommy has a heart and flair for inspiring people to live their faith every day. He has worked in various youth ministry, adult ministry, and diocesan roles. He has been a featured speaker at retreats and events across the country. With a degree in Theology from Franciscan University, Tommy hopes to use his knowledge to help all people understand the beauty of The Faith. Contact Tommy at 
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